Planning or attending a farewell for a loved one often involves unfamiliar terminology like viewing, wake, and funeral service. While these terms are sometimes used interchangeably, each represents a distinct event with its own emotional purpose, structure, and setting during the grieving process.
TL;DR: A viewing is a private, quiet gathering in a funeral director’s Chapel of Rest to see the deceased before the funeral day. A funeral service is the formal ceremonial event where family and community pay final respects. A wake is an informal post-service gathering held at a pub, hall, or home for guests to share memories and refreshments.
The funeral service is the formal ceremonial event that marks a person’s passing. It provides a structured opportunity for family, friends, and members of the local community to gather together, pay their respects, and say a formal goodbye.
Funeral services can take many shapes depending on your family’s traditions, beliefs, and personal preferences. They may be held at a local church, a non-religious venue, or a crematorium chapel. During the service, eulogies are read, music is played, and prayers or readings are shared to celebrate the deceased’s life and legacy.
When you begin arranging a funeral, choosing the right structure is an essential step. As an independent, family-run funeral director serving West Kent and South East London for over 30 years, our team at Welham Jones understands how important these local customs are. From Tunbridge Wells, to Swanley, we guide you through all aspects of funeral planning—from selecting tailored funeral packages to choosing suitable coffins and caskets.
A wake is an informal post-service gathering held after the funeral ceremony where attendees socialise, comfort one another, and celebrate the deceased’s life over food and drink.
Historically, a wake was held before the funeral to keep watch over the deceased in case they ‘woke up’; the traveller community generally still follows this tradition. But modern UK practise now places it immediately after the funeral service or committal. Wakes usually take place at local venues such as a pub, community hall, hotel, or private home, offering a warm and uplifting atmosphere. Findings from the annual SunLife Cost of Dying Report highlight that informal celebrations of life are increasingly favoured by UK families wanting a personal touch.
In our experience, families who choose to hold a wake often tell us that this informal gathering provides a gentle emotional transition after the solemnity of the formal service. Whether you need recommendations from a funeral director in Orpington and Chelsfield, Tonbridge, or Chislehurst and Bromley, our local family team can suggest welcoming venues across Kent that match your family’s needs and budget.
A viewing is a private, peaceful occasion held prior to the day of the funeral, giving immediate family and close friends the opportunity to see their loved one one final time.
For many grieving families, a viewing brings comfort and emotional closure. It offers a calm, unhurried environment to sit quietly, say personal goodbyes, place small letters or keepsakes into the coffin, or simply reflect in silence. Attendance is completely voluntary, and a respectful funeral director will always support whatever choice feels right for you and your family.
Our funeral arrangers in Borough Green and across our regional branches frequently see how much peace a quiet viewing brings to immediate family members. At Welham Jones, our Chapel of Rest facilities are maintained with dignity and care. We assist with every detail, from specialized arrangements like repatriation to selecting lasting memorials and advising those interested in pre-paid funeral plans.
A viewing, funeral service, and wake differ primarily in their timing, setting, level of formality, and target audience.
While some families arrange all three events, others prefer a simpler combination depending on personal wishes, religious customs, and budget considerations.
| Event | Primary Purpose | Who Attends? | Usual Location | Atmosphere & Tone |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Viewing | Private, quiet goodbye before the main service | Immediate family and close personal friends | Funeral director’s Chapel of Rest | Intimate, quiet, peaceful, reflective |
| Funeral Service | Formal ceremonial farewell and committal | Family, friends, colleagues, and local community | Church, crematorium, or non-religious venue | Reverent, ceremonial, structured |
| Wake | Informal post-service gathering to share stories and refreshments | All funeral attendees and wider acquaintances | Local hall, pub, hotel, or family home | Relaxed, warm, celebratory |
| Event Type | Common Included Elements |
|---|---|
| Viewing | Quiet reflection, private prayers, placing keepsakes or letters into the coffin. |
| Funeral Service | Eulogies, musical tributes, hymns, readings, formal committal or cremation. |
| Wake | Catering, drinks, memory sharing, photo slideshows, toast to the deceased. |
Arranging a personal farewell starts with understanding your family’s preferences and speaking with an experienced local funeral director who understands your area.
In our experience across West Kent and South East London—serving families in Tunbridge Wells, Southborough, Rusthall, Langton Green, Tonbridge, Sevenoaks, and beyond—having clear guidance makes every stage of the planning process significantly easier. Whether you need help selecting venue options for a local wake, arranging time in a Chapel of Rest, or securing peace of mind through pre-paid funeral plans, our family-run team is here to support you.
To discuss your arrangements or ask questions about our funeral packages, contact Welham Jones today or visit your nearest branch
Understanding the distinct roles of a viewing, funeral service, and wake allows you to create a personalised, comforting farewell that honours your loved one’s unique life.
Planning a funeral or setting up a pre-paid funeral plan often involves complex legal terminology, with “Exclusive Right of Burial” being one of the most vital concepts to understand when choosing a final resting place.
Horse-drawn hearses are an elegant symbol of tradition at a funeral, but they can require more logistical foresight than a modern hearse. So here’s how to include a horse-drawn hearse in your loved one’s funeral.
As an independent, family run funeral directors helping grieving families pay their final farewells to their loved ones, the actions of Hull funeral director Robert Bush, jailed for 20 years for failing to bury the deceased in his care, does more than fill us with horror. It reignites our belief that our industry needs to be regulated, so that families can have confidence in the funeral directors in whom they place their faith.
We're here to help
We’re here to help with care and compassion. If we can be of assistance please contact us for support or guidance using the following form.
