The location is easy. Deciding the flower arrangements, slightly trickier. But, when planning a funeral, we hear many family members say that writing the eulogy is the hardest part. Where do I start? What are people expecting me to say? How can I possibly epitomise an entire life in just one speech? With over thirty years of experience helping families across West Kent and South East London arrange funerals, we know how daunting this task can be. That’s why we’ve put together a practical guide, with tips to help you write and deliver a eulogy that truly honours your loved one.
The word “eulogy” comes from the Latin eulogium, derived from the Greek eu (“good” or “well”) and logia (“speaking”). Loosely translated, it means “speaking well”, and while people or places can be eulogised, today the word most often refers to a speech in praise of someone who has died.
The tradition dates back thousands of years. In ancient Mesopotamia, funeral dirges were inscribed on clay tablets as early as 2000 BCE. In ancient Egypt, priests and family members delivered ornate orations during elaborate funeral rites. And in ancient Greece, funeral orations were so important that leaders like Pericles became renowned for them.
Through history, eulogies have been a way to:
While styles have evolved; modern eulogies may include humour, personal anecdotes, or even multimedia tributes, the purpose remains the same: to acknowledge a life and the impact it had on others.
A eulogy is usually delivered by someone who had a close and meaningful relationship with the deceased. This could be:
Sometimes, more than one person may speak, offering different perspectives. As experienced funeral arrangers in Sevenoaks, Tonbridge, Tunbridge Wells and across the southeast, we often guide families through this decision, helping them choose the right person or people to share those memories.
There is no single “correct” way to write a eulogy. As a rough guide, many fall around the 3–5 minute mark, however, this is not always the case: Charles Spencer’s eulogy for princess Diana – often hailed as a great example of a eulogy – was around 9 minutes, while Bindi Irwin, still very young when she commemorated her father, Steve, managed to move the assembled mourners with just 90 seconds.
For some, who are not fans of public speaking or worry about getting through such an emotional speech, 35 minutes feels like a lifetime, while for others it seems hardly enough time to remember a life loved. However, no matter how you feel about delivering a eulogy, believe that the best ones are able to find a theme and focus on it. We have noticed four distinct categories, which may help you to get started:
The choice often depends on your relationship with the person, the tone of the funeral, and how they would want to be remembered.
Starting is often the hardest part. Speak with friends and family. Someone else’s memory or phrase might spark a memory, highlight a theme, or provide the perfect starting point. Here are a few prompts that may help you:
Imagine your loved one is in the room. How would you normally talk to them? This can make the tone more natural and personal. From here, it is often a lot easier to narrow down:
Reading it out will help you check the flow and prepare for the emotion of the moment.
Words on a page can be deceiving: three minutes written may be much longer spoken, especially when emotions are heightened, and there is nothing worse than worrying about timings during a loving goodbye.
You don’t have to be a writer to write a eulogy. Many feel the pressure to suddenly get poetic, agonising over metaphors and similes in a way that is unnatural to them. And, while choosing a few lines of meaningful poetry or a song lyric from a shared memory can be a great addition; we promise that the thing that makes your eulogy moving, is you. A heartfelt speech written in your own words is far more than a speech written with the ‘right’ ones.
Dating back to ancient Egypt, funeral cortege; the journey that carries the deceased and mourners to the site of the funeral ceremony, has deep roots. However, since what was once a grand procession, overtured by musicians and wailing subjects, is now often seen as a purely functional aspect of the funeral; it is safe to say that funeral corteges have had a bit of a fall from grace in the past five millennia. At Welham jones, your local, family-run funeral directors, we are committed to making every aspect of a funeral as personal and meaningful as possible, which is why this blog will explain how you can create a bespoke route and the most popular landmarks that families like to see in Tunbridge Wells.
The beauty of human beings is that we are all utterly unique: our likes and dislikes, our quirks and oddities, our passions, and persuasions; each of these help to make up a life loved. A life is not some abstract concept, it is 3D, it is palpable, it has a tangible effect on those around it, and at Welham Jones, we believe in creating funerals which truly honour this.
In our thirty years as family-run local funeral directors, serving families across West Kent and Southeast London, we have mastered the art of creating bespoke funerals that are as unique as the person they are celebrating. However, we’ve also noticed that many families are not aware of all the ways they can tailor their funeral, so we have created this guide to help break down what can be customised, what can’t, and the variety of requests we’ve seen throughout the years to prove that nothing is too great or too grand when it comes to celebrating the life of someone special.
For some families, the moment the curtains close at a funeral can be unexpectedly unsettling. Such a simple act can leave you feeling off balance—suddenly unsure where your loved one has gone, what is happening to them, and when they will be returned to you. The world behind the curtain can feel strangely distant, elusive, separate from your own. It may sound surprising, but in our 30+ years supporting families across the Southeast, we know these thoughts are more common than you might think. That is why we want to help—by dispelling the myths, sharing the facts, and offering some gentle reassurance about what really happens beyond the curtain.
We're here to help
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Donec in elit non nunc gravida vehicula eget a arcu.
