As a local, independent, family-run funeral director, we know the importance of putting an empathetic, compassionate face to a name, and being able to build a rapport with your funeral director. This is why it is our pleasure to introduce Tonbridge locals to Rosanna Hayward, our passionate and committed funeral arranger, overseeing our Tonbridge operations.
Rosanna Hayward has been a valued part of the Welham Jones team for seven years. Her journey into the world of funeral arranging began in a deeply personal way.
“I fell into it, really,” she explains. “I was looking after my mum before she passed away, and after arranging her funeral, I began job hunting again. I saw an opening at Welham Jones and thought, ‘I’ve organised one funeral before – how different can it be?’ Turns out, quite a lot!”
What began as a two-day-a-week role has since grown into a full-time position overseeing our Tonbridge funeral home and supporting our Tunbridge Wells branch too.
Rosanna believes her personal experience helped her relate to families from day one. “When I was organising Mum’s funeral, I was asked loads of questions. Fortunately, we’d had a few conversations, but my knowledge was still limited. I didn’t even know slide shows were an option,” she says. “Now, when I arrange funerals for others, I always think about how I felt at the time. It’s such an important moment for families, and we never want them to leave thinking ‘I wish we’d done that.’”
“No two days are the same,” Rosanna explains. “But the process usually starts with a ‘first call’. This is when we’re notified of a death. I then contact the next of kin to arrange collection and start the conversation about funeral arrangements.”
Once the family comes into the office, Rosanna guides them through the necessary paperwork, including cremation forms and bespoke service arrangements. “We create our own orders of service, and I try to pick up on personal touches. For example, if someone had a favourite perfume, I’ll suggest we spray it in the chapel of rest. It’s those little details that can mean so much.”
Rosanna also works as a memorial arranger, liaising with churches and cemeteries to coordinate headstones and other items of remembrance. “There are a lot of rules and regulations, so it helps to have someone who knows the ropes,” she says.
But when a funeral is scheduled, everything else takes a back seat. “Funerals can be ‘bitty’ and stretch over a few weeks. Does the family want to see their loved one? What should they wear? Are we visiting a church? There are so many variables.”
Rosanna has even found herself gaining unexpected skills. “One day I was photoshopping an image and a client said, ‘I didn’t realise there was so much to your job.’ I hadn’t really thought about it, but over the years I’ve picked up so many skills. I wear a lot of hats.”
Rosanna is honest about the emotional challenges. “It can be a lonely job. The people you’re seeing every day are grieving, and that gets to you. But we talk to each other. We’ve all had losses, so we understand.”
Every family reacts differently. “Some are angry, some emotional, some are even jovial,” she says. “I relate to their confusion. As a society, we don’t talk about death. Unless there’s a pre-paid funeral plan, families often have no idea what their loved one wanted. Even my mum didn’t say what she wanted done with her ashes.”
This often results in uncertainty. “You get lots of voices (or no voice at all), and people just want to do what’s right. That’s why it’s such a privilege when we can help them feel confident in their decisions.”
“That’s so difficult to answer,” Rosanna laughs. “Honestly, you wouldn’t stay in this job if you didn’t really care about the families.”
She says the most rewarding part is the gratitude she receives from those she helps. “I look forward to coming to work. The families I meet—it’s humbling. They’re the ones who’ve lost someone, yet they’re the ones thanking me. You think, ‘I’m just doing my job,’ but then you realise not everyone cares this much about their job.”
Helping people navigate the most emotionally challenging time of their lives is what keeps Rosanna going. “To know you’ve helped—even in a small way—is incredibly rewarding.”
Helping someone feel seen, supported and at peace with their choices is at the heart of everything we do.
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