It’s a very good question! With the number of unattended cremations and burials on the rise, you might be tempted to ask whether you need a traditional funeral – or whether you would have to organise one in the event that a loved one dies. But research suggests that they still play a very important role, both for the bereaved and wider society.
Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, direct (unattended) funerals were rare, accounting for just 3% of all funerals in 2019, according to Sunlife’s annual Cost of Dying Report. But the social restrictions imposed by the pandemic made them a necessity during the most stringent lockdowns, and this seems to have had a lasting impact on attitudes to funerals. In 2023, direct cremations accounted for 20% of all funerals, staying at this level in 2024.
The cost-of-living crisis has also been significant here. Research undertaken by Theos, a Christian think tank, found that financial considerations were significant among those who said they didn’t want a funeral, with 67% saying they thought the money could be better spent elsewhere and 13% saying they didn’t have enough money to pay for a funeral. SunLife’s annual survey found different weightings attached to these common reasons: 14% of respondents to its 2025 Cost of Dying report said they would prefer to spend the money on something else, with 10% saying that they couldn’t afford a funeral with a service.
Despite the rise of direct cremations, the Theos report Love, Grief and Hope – Emotional responses to death and dying in the UK, revealed commonly held beliefs as to the value of funerals.
77% of respondents felt that funerals provide an opportunity to celebrate the life of the deceased. 61% said that they provide a space for mourning together with others. And 52% agreed that they provide support for the bereaved.
Less popular responses included: to help people reflect on the meaning of life and death (20%); to pray for the soul of the deceased (12%); and to send someone to the next life (10%).
The fact that more than three-quarters of respondents felt that funerals are to celebrate the life of the deceased was reflected when they were asked by Theos to consider what they would want included in their own funeral.
The most popular choice was stories or tributes, chosen by more than half those surveyed (52%), followed by popular songs (46%).
More contemplative options were chosen by fewer people: 27% said they would like a period of quiet reflection or silence; 20% said they would choose poems or literary extracts; 19% asked for prayers; 16% wanted hymns.
Talks given by either a secular celebrant or a faith leader were even lower down. Only 16% of respondents wanted a talk by a secular celebrant, while 12% opted for religious readings, and only 11% chose a talk given by a religious leader.
The research shows that the emphasis on creating a personal celebration that truly reflects the life of the deceased is where the real value of a funeral lies – and what most people would want for themselves.
So how do you go about creating a truly personal celebration of life for either yourself or a loved one?
There’s no denying that direct burials and direct cremations are cheaper than the attended equivalents. However, if cost is an issue, or if you would prefer to be remembered – or to remember a loved one – in a different way, there are plenty of options for creating a truly personal event that doesn’t involve the funeral itself.
You could consider a ceremony to scatter the ashes near your favourite nature spot. You could hold a memorial service (religious or secular, traditional or modern, inside or out). Or family and friends could share in a meal at your favourite local restaurant – helping provide a more personal solution for mourners seeking a sense of closure, with often a brighter and more joyous tone.
A funeral director can help you to arrange many types of funerals and offer you practical advice, discussing your options and assisting you in planning how you will finance it. Whether you are having a direct cremation, a small private service, or a large celebratory event, they will be able to help you choose an event that is uniquely personal, so you can rest easy knowing plans are in place for when the time comes – or that you have done your loved one proud.
Ensuring you have the send-off of your choice can only be made possible if you discuss your wishes with your loved ones. This may also help you to understand how they would like to celebrate your life when you have passed away. Sharing even the smallest of details – such as a playlist of music you would like to be played or where you would like your ashes to be scattered – will give them the confidence that they are honouring your wishes when the time comes. Discuss with them the finances and how you are planning to budget for the event, a cost that everyone should try and plan for.
Hollywood and prime-time TV love to show the drama of death: the paramedic calls the time, the eyelids are gently shut, and the melancholy band strikes up before we fade to the funeral scene. However, in reality, there is a lot more that goes on between a passing and a funeral, most crucially, registering a death in the UK – without which no further action can occur. So, how do you register a death, and who is qualified to do it?
When a loved one has passed, the last thing on most people’s minds is bureaucracy, and yet, that is what they get. So many forms, so many certificates; it’s an unwanted minefield when all you want to do is plan the perfect, heartfelt send-off. So, what do they all mean, and why do you need them? Allow us to break down all the jargon, so you can get back to what really matters.
The location is easy. Deciding the flower arrangements, slightly trickier. But, when planning a funeral, we hear many family members say that writing the eulogy is the hardest part. Where do I start? What are people expecting me to say? How can I possibly epitomise an entire life in just one speech? With over thirty years of experience helping families across West Kent and South East London arrange funerals, we know how daunting this task can be. That’s why we’ve put together a practical guide, with tips to help you write and deliver a eulogy that truly honours your loved one.
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